'Go to Ulcinj you can get a bus to Mostar from there''No not Ulcinj you need to go to Budva, two hours up the coast'
'Yes there is a bus but it leaves at 8.30 and gets in at 3am'
By now we were knackered so decided to stay a night and try again next morning. We were assured, and we checked with 3 different people, that there where lots of buses to Mostar from Hercog Novi. So we took the 4 hour ride along the coastal car park that in Montenegro passes as a road. We arrived at 4.30 and found that a bus left in an hour. According to the Lying Planet guide book it would get us in at 9pm. Great, the timing was perfect. Just one thing wrong, instead of continuing north into Croatia the bus was going south. After some frantic map pointing with the conductor he got me to understand what to him was obvious - this bus became the 8.30pm Mostar bus from Budva. We had spent the whole day on buses just to end up where we started from.
Sometimes you have to accept your fate so we found ourselves dropped off on the Mostar by-pass at 3am. The other passenger who got off the bus beat us to the only hotel and grabbed the last room. We had no choice but to walk down an unlit dual carriageway into Mostar, arriving just in time to meet all the pissed kids spilling out of the local club. When we eventually found the only open hotel, at 4.30am, we walked into a Bosnian wedding in full swing.
We had taken 16 hours to travel 120 miles. We also had had two bus breakdowns, a broken seat, no loo breaks and 8 hours sitting next to a Bosnian who spent the time showing me his porn collection stored on his mobile
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