Guatemala - North, East and Fart

As soon as you cross the border from Belize things change. You are offered the chance to pay the immigration official a 3$ bribe to stamp your passport. Its an illegal charge and you don't have to pay it if you don't mind waiting a few hours before they let you into the country. The road becomes a sea of mud on which the bus slews around as it tries to miss families of pigs.

The other big change is that people don't smile. It comes as quite a culture shock after Mexico where you hear the sound of laughter everywhere. Maybe if I lived in a country that had suffered under a string of vicious dictators and military rule I might not smile much. It was only 11 years ago that a peace treaty ended an internal conflict that claimed 150,00 lives and resulted in 50, 000 people 'disappearing' - all in a country of only 12 million.



Tikal is an amazing Maya city in a magical setting middle of the jungle. We went there for sunset and sunrise. At 6am we had the place completely to ourselves for 2 hours as the jungle creatures stirred, especially the howler monkey whose unearthly roar would terrify if you didn't know what it was.

One of the weirdest things we have done is to swim across a cold jungle river to a steaming hot waterfall. There was even a cave behind the waterfall that acted like a sauna. If this had been in a developed country it would have been one of its biggest tourist attractions. Here, there was just a little man who looked after your things for you



I managed to negotiate us a cheap bus ticket when Marilyn wanted to pay a bit more and travel by luxury bus. Our bus was very old, visited every town on the way turning a 3 hour journey into 5. The roof leaked so we got soaked and the driver let on a series of mad preachers who gave sermons, read from the bible and then explained why you should give them lots of money. They did this at the top of their voices partly because the driver left the blaring music on. I think Marilyn agreed that this was all worth while given that I had saved us 50p each.

We stayed in a jungle lodge that you could only get to by boat. If you went to town one of the bars would call up the boat by radio to get you back. It was 3.30 at the hostel and very hot. About 10 people where reading or playing chess and I had the best spot, the only hammock. Eventually I drifted off to sleep only to be woken up by an enormous fart. As I came too I realised that everyone was looking at me!!

The Garifina are descended from slaves abandoned by the British after a failed uprising. They mainly live in an isolated village only accessible by boat. One of these guys came up to us and said ''where do you come from''. Our stock answer is always ''England near London'', its too complicated to explain about Suffolk. This guy responded with 'Do you know Ipswich'. Apparently many years ago a guy from Ipswich went there and helped with the local school

Despite all the warnings about crime in Guatemala (The Rough Guide '' there still isn't a functioning police force and lynchings of suspected criminals is not uncommon'') we felt safe and will be going back to visit the south of the country.

We are now in Honduras

Belize - Christians, Creol, Coral and caves

The bus from Mexico was full of American missionaries. If this wasn't unsettling enough the first thing to you see as you enter Belize City is the hundreds of churches representing every version of American weirdo Church -why they impose themselves on poor old Belize I have no idea.

Belize City Police HQ

Belize City feels a bit edgy but if you talk to people they are really friendly even if they are always looking for ways to make a dollar - one guy who was living on the street started to give us a pretty good history lesson on the city.

First you feed the sharks in Shark and Ray Alley, then you snorkal with them


We spent a few days on Caye Caulker one of the tropical islands along the second longest reef in the world. Its strange being in a country where you can read and speak the language but not understand what people are saying to each other. They speak Creole liberally peppered with various versions of fooook and moother fourkers

San Ignasio is on a beautiful river and near some caves used as a burial site by the Mayas. Brilliant trip, we went about a mile into the caves by canoe

Favorite moment. Canadian woman talking to a local. Is the Queen your head of state? Don't know man but she is on our dollar. Yes shes on ours as well. Rule Britannia!!
We are now in Guatemala

Marilyn's Men IV

This guy sells peanuts during the day and drinks his peanut money in the night. We went to an outdoor restaurant and he was there, very drunk and telling a story to a small audience. It was all about a gringo woman. Apparently she wanted him, after buying peanuts and having her picture taken with him but he told her he was too beautiful for her and anyway his cock was to big. In Creole it was very funny. He did not recognise us at all and even tried to sell us some more peanuts

Viva Mexico - a very long journey

Presented with the help of Monkey Maps and superb technical skills



The little we knew about Mexico was wrong.

The variation in landscape, food, music, museums, ruins all came as a very pleasant surprise. Most of all it has been the people, without exception they have been very friendly, helpful and great company.


We planed to spend two weeks here but stayed for 10.

Both a bit sad to leave


We are now in Belize

Floods, Cenotes and Marilyn

The aftermath of the dreadful floods in Tabasco continue to make the news. Every town has massive collection centres for food, clothing and water. Its difficult to imaging what it is like when a whole state is flooded. Tabasco is bordered and criss-crossed by tropical rivers that flooded when the tail end of a hurricane hit them.


On the Caribbean side of the peninsular there are no rivers at all. Water comes from underground lakes called cenotes. You can swim in some. It is a weird experience swimming in a cave under stalactites and looking down on stalagmites ( or the other way round)


Entrance to a cenote

We had a Marilyn "I've had enough' moment". She was very nervous about snorkeling underground and after 30 minutes was cold and had had enough. She was standing on a rock shivering, with me trying to persuade that it was best to carry on, when she wailed ''a fish just bit me''. It was true a shoal of fish were nipping at our legs

Sky reflecting on an open cenote

We caught a shared taxi on the way back and a couple of Americans actually tried to con us. It went like this

Americans - ''You guys are the best, you would do us a big favour if you could change 500 note"
This was a strange request because we have never had any problem getting change, 500 pesos is about $50
Marilyn ''yes we can''
Me - ''No, sorry I only have one 100''
Marilyn - ''But you have you've got all those 50s''
Americans - ''It would really be a help even if you could just change a 200''
I get out my own 200 note to check its security features so I can test the one the guy is about to give me
The American sees me do this and suddenly says '' On second thoughts I think we are OK''

We are staying in Tulum a small town close to the most stunning Caribbean coast line imaginable. The beach itself it lined with thatched cabanas and bars which blend in with the jungle landscape. Word in town is that this is all going to change and there are plans to build a chain of enormous all inclusive resorts. One of these is already staked out over a mangrove swamp!. All this in an area that suffers from hurricanes. What a small hurricane can do

Nearby there is one of the biggest reserves in America, over a million acres. It protects mangroves and fresh water lagoons amongst several other environments. We spent a great day there and swam in a canal created by the Mayas. We got out the boat and let the current take us through the mangroves

Day of the Dead

The pre-hispanic civilisations believed death is just a continuation of life and that you could communicate with the dead. This tradition has evolved into the Day of the Dead. Families create memorials in thier houses and then have a party on the loved ones graves. Bringing all the things they loved, with an emphasis on food, drink and music.
The result is one big party

Over the years Mexicans incorporated all sorts of alien influences, such as Christianity, into the Day of the Dead and now they have included Halloween. So the celebrations have spread from the homes and cemetaries onto the streets