Whoops

Marilyn fails in her 'cycling over a rock' demonstration to the Lao people



Must get these tee shirts for me and Marilyn









Print Page

That was stupid

If I had listened to Marilyn

''Don't go in there

Don't drink that you don't know what he has put in it

Don't go for a trip on the river for three hours when you don't know what you have drunk''


I wouldn't have had the ignominy of being rescued from the Mekong while floating down it in a lorry inner tube or passing out or having to sleep for 15 hours

And I wouldn't have had two days of

I told you so

Print Page

Bloody Brits

In three years of travel we have only encountered two cases of aggressive behavior. The first was the seat grabbing, rude Germans in Guatemala. The second was yesterday

The three chavs from Dartford were sitting at the back of a crowded bus. They were loud and there where too many 'fucks' but they seemed friendly enough. Then the driver put on some rather good Lao pop music. One of these guys gos up to the front -----

'This is crap, this is meant to be a VIP bus. Have you got fucking English music. English CD English radio. Understand'

The Lao people are very quiet and reserved and the driver apologised. Having got the gist of what was being said he turned the radio off. This led to a number of people protesting and saying they were enjoying the music.

Our friend from Dartford. Stood in the middle of the bus and told them to fuck off and in particular abused an older Dutch guy. He went back to his set where a French woman told him that this was not England and it was good to hear local music. His reply was to tell her to fuck off too and remind her that 'England once ruled half the world'

At this stage I told him to stop being so aggressive and that he was making me ashamed to be English etc etc. I then waited for the abuse to be launched in my direction. But amazingly they shut up. Apart from the occasion stupid noise and inane comments such as 'why cant they put all these fires out' - Lao uses slash and burn techniques at this time of year

Met guy who had encountered the chavs.

'Hello where do you come from'
'Dartford in sarf eastLondon, where you come from'
'London, Balham'
'Never heard of it'
'Its near Clapham'
"Nar no idea mate'

Another over heard conversation

American teacher to gentleman from India - 'Do you speak Indian"





Print Page

Transition towns - without happy endings!

If you are very lucky you visit a place when it still has some of its original culture and local business but you can also get decent wine and espresso coffee. Laung Prahang is one such place.


If you are late the place will be over developed. the local culture is swamped, big business moves in and flashy hotels are built. Each one being higher than its competitors. Vang Vieng is a good example of this. 10 years ago it must have been paradise but now its all building works and self absorbed back packers watching endless reruns of Friends in the bars.

Two things that I really like about Laos. Brilliant 1hr massages for 8$ and menus where you can ask for the 'happy' version - Milk Shake or pizza laced with cannabis

Print Page

Mutinies on the Mekong

Jut about the only reason to go to Huay Xai is to take the two day, slow boat trip to the old capital of Laos.

So there are about 180 of us having bought tickets and being lectured by some guy with good English '' The boats are unsafe, you will get food poisoning, men will be robbed and the women raped the place you stay overnight, the waters low so it will take twice as long as they say. On the other hand my bus company will take you there safely in no time. All you have to do is throw away your boat ticket and pay me loads of money''.

About 60 people actually fell for this rubbish and went with the charlatan

The rest of us made our way to the river and tried to cram into a boat built for 80. An English guy started a mutiny and a chant of 'one more boat' that got so loud and aggressive that the owners actually commandeered a second boat

The next day on the second leg, about 90 of us got on the boat. It was getting a bit crowded, so the Americans tried to start another mutiny by physically invading second boat. They went unilaterally without the support of the other nations, even us Brits refused to follow them. Having 'won' the boat they had no idea what to do with it other than to shout a lot.

The owner of the original boat owner solved the impasse by starting his engines and moving out.

The Americans capitulated and climbed back on board looking a bit sheepish



Print Page