African Stories

1. Marriage. If you don't have enough cattle to get the wife of your choice raid a neighboring tribe and steal them. However make sure you hand them over to the father before they can arrange a raid to get them back- 'its then his problem'. This has all become a bit murderous since the tribes  started using guns rather than spears.

2. ''I thought female circumcision was illegal'' 'yes but not for the Pocott tribe''

Two days later the paper is full of stories of the Pocott persuading  other tribes to adopt complete circumcision, the labia as well as the clitoris. All done by the old ladies in the tribe with a rusty razor blade

3. The riots in Jan 2008 started as a political protest but gave the tribes a chance to steal from each other. One island on Lake Victoria has double its population as people fled the mainland. There are refuge camps everywhere as the Government tries to find a way of getting people back to their homes and farms. Not easy when there is no property rights and whole districts have been cleared and resettled

4. Obama. As election day approached for the American presidency white people in Kenya got extra armed security. If Obama had not got in they where sure they would have been attacked. There is still  tremendous excitement about having an American President with a Kenyan father. But the Kenyan people are likely to be disappointed. They think Obama will favour Kenya in the same way as their  own politicians give precedence to their own tribe

5. Politicians.  Kenyan politicians earn much more than their Wesminster counterparts. In a country with average income of below a dollar and falling.  They are amazingly corrupt and incompetent.  Kenya is facing a famine which will affect a third of the population but the Government has managed to 'lose' all but 7000 of the 150,000 bags of maize it had in store

5. Donations. Its 6am and we are waiting for the Uganda/Rwandan border to open. I have got a Rwandan note worth about 50 US cents. I say good morning to about 20 village woman and children as they walk towards the market. They respond with 'good morning. Give me money'. Eventually a woman with a baby on her back and a back of potatoes on her head says ' good morning how are you' with a big smile. I hand her the note. A few minutes later I hear shrieks  of laughter  and three woman are giving her high 5s at her good fortune

6.  Thief.  We were given some good advise.  Only shout 'thief' if you are robbed if you want the culprit beaten to death or lynched.  Everyday the papers had stories of people being caught and summarily killed.

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Kenyan Railways

Views from the train window

''Kenya railways welcomes its passengers on the Mombasa Nairobi night train and wishes them a pleasant journey"

The decrepit diesel grunts, groans, belches and stops. Ghostly figures shine torches underneath and aimlessly walk up and down the platform. An hour later they give the engine a second chance and it manages to pull its load upto an impressive walking pace.

Life is pleasant in our 1st class carriage. Excellent wine and a 5 course dinner, whilst someone makes up our beds. Not so much fun for the 3rd class passengers. Hundreds of them, whole extended families with all their worldly goods, have been packed into the front 4 coaches

For us, after dinner whiskeys with four 60 year of Swiss guys whose idea of a good holiday is to pay gorgeous young Kenyan girls to go on safari with them. The girls seem happy with the arrangement and one is celebrating her 21 st birthday

This must be the only railway in the world where you can spot giraffes, zebra and antelope

We arrive at 1pm 6 hours late into the maelstrom of Nairobi
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